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I just don’t understand Turkish

Well, SharpMT decided to delete my post, rather than upload it. So… lost that one. Trust me when I say that speaking to a random Turkish guy for 2 hours, when we couldn’t understand a single word of what the other was were saying was highly entertaining.You’ll have to just take my word for it that Topkapi Palace is quite cool, and that the Harem at said palace used to consist of 809 female slaves.

The dilemma of trying to get a passport out of the Hostel safe shall also go mostly unspoken. It is SO secure, that not even the receptionist knows the code.

But I’ve now left Istanbul behind, and I’ve had a great time, meeting some really really great people. A couple of which I at least have a small chance of keeping in touch with.

But now it’s all about Pamukkale. Maybe I’ll rewrite this entry some other time. Just not now 😉

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Who wants a Turkish Rug brought back?

I’m not really sure what I’d do with a Turkish rug. It’s not that I don’t want one, necessarily – don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I’m not about the success rates of the sales techniques…

“You need a rug?” How many people have a little switch that goes off in their head at that point that squeals, “Hey, I DO need a rug. Thank you my friend, where do I go?”But yes, there is a prevalent rug selling culture in Turkey, and the streets are full of wannabe stores, probably 10 new ones a week if anyone checked to keep track (I make this number up entirely from nothing). I’m forever amazed at the persistence of Turkish shop sellers and restaurant owners who will stand on the streets night and day to be told “No” by at least 97% of the people passing. I know this, I’ve checked. And they suck you in, they suck in by trying to be your friend, and there’s nothing you can do to stop the onslaught until you’ve walked away with seventeen unique collectable rugs. Nothing!

“Excuse me, where are you from?”Ahhh, what a nice chap
“London.”
“Oh really? London… Are you planning on buying a rug while you are here in Istanbul?”
Shit. Shit shit shit. What can you do? “No.”
“No!?” You need a look of complete and total surprise for this part. They’ve practiced. “You’re *not* going to buy a rug?”
“No, demon! Nor any of your Turkish Delight! I’m not buying a handmade rug OR any of your devil jelllies!” Is what I wanted to say… “Nope, sorry.” Is what I ended up saying.
“Heh, amazing.” Shakey head moment. “Well, if you change your mind… You know where we are…”

Great, now I’m responsible for his family not eating or his kids having to drop out of school. I’m a terrible person.And it’s the same thing, everywhere you go. I…just…don’t….get it… But, other people apparently do. There are rare rugs, collectable rugs, expensive rugs, cheap rugs, tradeable rugs the whole lot. Kids have them instead of Pokemon. Battle rugs. They trade them on street corners, as well as school playgrounds, I would assume. Each rug has its particular special power, and the loser has to give up their rug.

It’s not true.

But it could be.

So, enough with the rugs already. Today I had a look around Aya Sofia, the “Pink Mosque”. So called because it stands opposite the “Blue Mosque”, and it’s not blue. I also climbed to the top of Galata tower. Originally named the Tower of Christ. More catchy, I think. It’s 61m tall, and gives the highest lookout point over the rest of Istanbul. Oh, and it has an elevator. So the climbing, well it was just a few steps at the top.

Taxsim Sq. is just around the corner from the tower, and is the second (more modern) centre to the European side of Istanbul. Did I mention that? I’m not sure I did, it’s kind of important to note Istanbul sits on both sides of the European continent, and Asia. Maybe not important, but cool. Maybe not cool, but, look, it just is.One comment made about it was … “Wow… I could swim from Europe to Asia”. And it’s true. Except for the boats that could easily crush, kill, or maim before you get there. It’s the second of these such experiences I’ve had now, what with the tiny bridge joining the European and North American plates in Iceland, and it fills me with a great sense of wanting to boast about it on my blog. There. Done.As I was saying, Taxsim Sq. is a big square, with more crazy traffic, and a huge McDonald’s that I was particularly excited about. I was particularly excited because it had a big swoooooosh looking logo, instead of the familiar golden arches. I ran through all the possibilities in my head for the next 15 minutes of walking. Maybe the golden arches are a sacreligious symbol. Maybe they mean bad luck, or death. They still had Ronald, but why no arches? Perhaps there are already golden arches in Turkey. Perhaps they just don’t display them because they were once displayed on an extremist flag. Perhaps it conjures some sort of a sexual taboo in the minds of the Turkish. Maybe it’s not McDonald’s, but a counterfeit cheap knock-off. Maybe a famous rug manufacturer beat them to it and signed all of his rugs with that symbol.

All these possibilities going through my head. Then I saw another McDonald’s. It had golden arches.

One-off then.

Tomorrow evening, I’ve got an overnight bus trip to Pamukkale, the land of “The Cotton Castle”. I’ll tell you about it some other time. So now I’m town between the cruise down the Bosphorus, that’s the part that splits the continents and joins the Sea of Marmara to the south, to the Black Sea in the north. Or, visiting the palace. I’ll see how much my feet hurt. I’m looking forward to my escape from Istanbul though, with the hope of finding somewhere slightly more peaceful. Preferably where there’s somewhere I can sit, or even stand – without there being an extremely busy, noisy road with grid-lock traffic just 10m away.I can but hope 🙂

Whatever happens, I’ll be back here for the end of my trip, too. So whatever doesn’t get done tomorrow. I’m sure there will be time later.

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The Weeping Column – the stuff legends are made of

So, it’s the first real day of being Istanbul, as last night didn’t really exist for anything longer than a few minutes.  And I’ve not really done much in the way of sightseeing so far.  I’d expected to spend the day on a frantic speed around Istanbul trying to soak up as much as humanly possible, and trekking the huge stretch of land that it covers, to to find my way around.  Instead, I found myself with four very capable guides whom I’ve really grown to like over the past 24 hours.  It’s very different to the hostel experience of Poland, which was quite far more sparse in the way of much company, and instead I spent the day sightseeing with good company, taking a boat ride, eating good food (well, some of it at least), and really just seeing a glimpse of the city.

All four have been here for 3+ days already, and dare I say it, some of the magic has sort of left.  Is it the last day blues I was sharing in?  Or will I feel the same way about this beautiful and sparse city closer towards the end of the week.  It’s not like the travelling ends today for any of them, but at the same time, the feeling of having to get a bus, train, or plane at any point in the near future, especially on the same day will kind of drain a person.

Either way, I can’t help but feel a little bummed that they’ve all left, or are leaving in the morning – as one has commented “you really hooked up with the wrong people for your first day”.  I only half agree.

For now, the mosques are impressive and there’s something other-worldly about them which is purely my own fault because I’m so not used to seeing them scattered around one after another like, well, churches.
So, interesting fact of the day on Sultanahmet, because, uhhh, I haven’t posted any yet.  Aya Sofya houses the huge brass-clad weeping column.  Legends are wide and varied, by all accounts at the hostel so far.  There’s a suspicious looking hole in the column … One story has it that some large religious dude pointed out that it didn’t face towards Mecca took hold of the pillar and twisted it around, leaving the mark. Another, and this is one Rough Guides support (any Lonely Planet fans out there should certainly post their own thoughts), St Gregory the Miracle Worker, appeared there, and subsequently the moisture seeping from the column has been believed to cure a number of conditions.  Another story again, and here I’m still rather hazy, a tear fell upon the column by another heavy religious-type, and if you place your hand into the hole, and it feels moist – you are said to receive great luck, or heal illnesses, remain healthy, three wishes, etc.  All that kind of thing 🙂

Personally, I love that this simple thing has conjured up fantastical legends.  And could just be a hole.  But, where’s the majesty in that?  I have my favourite.  You take your own 🙂

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Chavs on a Plane – the entry to Istanbul

I’ve arrived at the hostel in Istanbul, and rumours of the 4,000 degrees temperatures have so far been greatly exagerrated. It’s a lovely 21 degrees right now, and quite nice and comfortable. But, the sun has gone down, it’s dark and kind of, how should I put this? Night.

It is also the only hostel on the planet that has the Turkish version of “Sweet Home Alabama” as the front door chime. At least, I think it’s the front door, this is the second run through in as many paragraphs.

The journey so far has been a thrilling tale of adventure, I am quite sure you’ll agree. Firstly it’s worth pointing out I miss the self-service check-in machines from Gatwick and Heathrow, having taken the advice of a fellow traveller in Poland to “leave from Stansted, the other airports are just a mess”. Well, it’s a more organised mess than Stansted can boast. Queues that merge into one another until they eventually become cyclical are not fun. I saw no less than five pirates (it’s national speak like a pirate day coming this week, y’know), two women from the middle-ages who hadn’t even heard what a plane was, much less was queuing for one, and the postman who delivers to my place back in Watford, who claims he’d just “sort of joined in”.

And all of them were apparently queuing in the same queue as the flight to Istanbul. Way to go Stansted. You rock.

On the plus side, all it did was cut into my “sitting around” time, and the plane was only 30 minutes late leaving the airport 🙂

The flight was pure comedy though. Two very loud Chavs sitting directly behind me, who were being particularly chav-tastic until the moment the plane started speeding down the runway. “What’s that?”…. “Why is it wobbling so much?” … “Holy F***! Look how high we are already!” No, they hadn’t flown before 🙂 They also managed to impress the stewardess by whistling every time they went by, exclaiming “Why!?” at the “Please put your tray table up for take-off”, and the highly impressive conversation with the girl next to them about “You live in Cyprus? That’s crazy, it’s a tiny island, man. Why would you wanna live in England. You should stay there. Hey, are you staying in Turkey on your own?”. I can only hope for the same levels of conversational magic to endow itself upon me over the next two weeks. Only.

I’ve arrived here kinda late, so there;s not much room for expansion on the wonder that is Istanbul. I can say that i’m here, and that the huge Blue Mosque is just seconds walk away from the hostel. Which is a welcome change from my usual poor hotel choices which involve another flight to anything fun and interesting. I have a feeling that it will look just as impressive by day as it does by night. Something like that has a habit of doing so.

But I’ll leave babbling on about that for tomorrow, after I’ve had a chance to see it. Rather than now, when I haven’t. Happy Monday everyone 🙂

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Mobile Blakepics with Gallery2, AddViaEmail, Gmail, Symbian and Shozu

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The plan was to get photos on Blakepics without the hassle of using computers, web browsers, memory card readers, cables, wires or Royal Mail. The secondary goal of the whole thing is to be a bit cool – so naturally it’s a mash-up of a number of different partially connected services, and I’ll briefly mention Facebook just so that we can check that one off and call it Web 2.0.

So, first step – Gallery2 has an AddViaEmail module. Install that, signup for a Google Mail account and get yourself a really obscure email address. Once you’ve got the AddViaEmail installed and configured (yep, it supports Google’s SSL pop3 servers), you can send emails to that address and have them automagically added to a specific album on your Gallery2 server.

You could stop here if you like – most mobile phones come with email software nowadays. So you can write an email, attach your images, and off they go. But I find email on the little keypads really annoying. And there’s all that typing, clicking, and making sure you get things right to worry about. You’re not exactly cutting edge, with email … are you? Besides, we’ve only made use of three different vaguely related services. That’s not what the web of the future is all about. I’ve heard about it in fairy tales.

So, get yourself a Shozu account. They provide a really cool backup / Share-It service and comes complete with a Symbian application which you can install on your brand new ultra-shiny Nokia N95. For example. If you use this, you can get yourself some single-click access to uploading your photos. Actually, it’s a 3-click minimum. But it’s better than typing email addresses or searching for contacts. They provide a bunch of other ways of sharing your photos, such as uploading to the BBC for consideration as part of their stories. Or more usefully to a WordPress blog or Facebook to humiliate your mates before they’ve got home from the pub and had a chance to de-tag all your new compromising photos.

But alas, AddViaEmail and Shozu don’t play very nicely. So, here are some changes to make to your php script (don’t be scared, it won’t bite).

/modules/addviaemail/classes/AddViaEmailHelper.class – Fix problems with the mime type…
list ($ret, $item) = GalleryCoreApi::addItemToAlbum($pathToSaveFile . $filename,$filename, $filename, $summary, '', $mimeType, $targetDestination);
->
list ($ret, $item) = GalleryCoreApi::addItemToAlbum($pathToSaveFile . $filename,$filename, $filename, $summary, '', 'image/jpeg', $targetDestination);
You’ll also need to disable the subject line spam checker as Shozu will send your email with the subject line as the name of the image.

So just remove this:

$header_info->subject == $subjectToMatch &&

The spam checker is actually quite a cool function, so one of these days I’ll come back an regular expression that. But quite likely, I probably won’t post it here. So work it out for yourself 🙂

See, and that’s all there is to it. I can now upload loads of photos direct through my phone (as I did with the image at the top of the page), and you could too.

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Metronet – ruining your lives for a better tomorrow

About once a year, I like to complain about the tube strikes. I did it last year, and I’ll do it again this year. This year it’s the turn of Metronet, who’s members are after assurances over job security and pensions.

I care about the important issues. I care about the plight of the workers standing up to The Man, Transport for London in this case. I care about who will stand and be counted, before there is nobody left to stand. I stand shoulder to shoulder with the common man. I will join them in taking this fight to their front door and hit them in the pockets, where it hurts the most.

Tube services are cancelled from Tuesday until Thursday. Do you realise how bloody inconvenient that is? I’ll never get home. You purse-pinching money grabbing bastards.

Actually, I don’t really care. You see, London has quite a few different ways of getting around. And with my help, you might be able to find your way around too. Firstly, there are the buses. They run above ground – where the air comes from. There are also overland trains. They’re also above ground, but look quite like the trains you see on the underground, with less red. Now here’s the really crazy part. The Great Fire died out over 340 years ago. The streets are safe to return to once more, and London is now traversable in its entirety by foot. Yep, believe it or not, you can walk from Warren Street station all the way to Goodge Street without taking the underground.

Above all, just try not to panic, everyone. It will all be OK 🙂

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Facebook death imminent

http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article2086909.ece

Basically some geezer who went to Harvard with the Facebook bloke is claiming he had a bunch of source code stolen. Alarmists everywhere are pretty sure the site will be shut down any day now and encourage you to backup your friends before you forget who they all are. Again. Still, it’s sure to return as a paid-for-20-quid-an-hour subscription site run by the evil new owners. Who also originally come from Mars, so I hear.

Oh please.

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Gibson GuitarTown London

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Gibson are running a really cool set of two exhibitions in London right now as part of Gibson GuitarTown London. Thirty 10-ft high guitars are displayed around More London (Tower Bridge / Mayors building) at the moment, with another 30 normal sized Gibson guitars at the O2, Greenwich. Each of them has been hand-painted with a different design by a wide range of artists, and signed by musicians endorsing the event. More London will be hosting the event for a total of 10 weeks, (that’s another 7 to go), so you’ve got plenty of time to go and check it out. It’s worth it, being free and all 🙂

At the end of it all in September – they’ll all be auctioned off with all the proceeds going to The Prince’s Trust, Teenage Cancer Trust and Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy.

It’s a really cool exhibition, and if nothing else you can walk around it and pretend you’re really tiny. Then hop on a boat down to Greenwich, and pretend you’re a giant.

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The Great Gormley Hunt – Event Horizon, Blind Light and Quantum Cloud

Gormley #31
Antony Gormley is probably most widely known as the man behind The Angel of the North. Actually, he’s the man of the Angel of the North, using his own body as the subject for a huge number of sculptures designed to challenge our perception of ourselves and the space that we live in. Recently, as part of the Blind Light exhibition at The Hayward, Gormley has erected 31 casts of himself and put them on rooftops and walkways around London. Well, not personally – I’m sure he had some help. Every one of them faces the Hayward gallery, turning the watchers into the watched – and keeping Londoners looking skywards for the last 2 months.

Putting aside the rumours that Gormley himself is actually inside one of the life-size casts, I naturally wanted to find them all. So since I had this afternoon off from work and it’s not far from the office, I decided to stalk Antony Gormley’s creations for a little while. And I think, armed with a trackstick and camera I’ve managed to find all 31 of them. It’s very difficult to tell now, which are the same statues from different angles.

Three viewing terraces at the Hayward provide the means to see all of the statues, and as Gormley’s previously commented – it’s very interesting to become part of the small community on that rooftops, trying to find them all. Whether actively pointing them out – or passively seeing other people do the same. It’s also rather eery to have all of those lifeless bodies staring back at you.

Quantum Cloud, Greenwich Peninsula, by Antony Gormley And Event Horizon isn’t the only attraction nearby. Inside the gallery, there are a huge number of sculptures and exhibits , including Allotment II, 300 reinforced concrete life-sized units each modelled upon the inhabitants of Malmo. Every single one is different, and you can’t help but be impressed at the sheer number of them, as well as yes – as the guide says – it’s anthropomorphic heaven. Throw away all your 20th century ideals of not being allowed to have first impressions any more. These are concrete blocks, and you won’t be hauled off to jail for being sexist, racist, ageist or judging someone by their appearance in any way. You can’t help but find your favourites or make random judgements over what sort of person they would be. Well I couldn’t.

Blind Light, the namesake of the entire exhibition is a massive glass box filled with a bright white fluffy cloud. The result of this, is that once inside you can’t see a damned think. After wandering around, barely able to see your own hands held out in front of you – you will have no idea where you are. Ghostly shadows will occasionally pass by and if you keep going, you’ll find the edges of the box where spectators will see your face emerge from the mist. It’s very surreal, but a great experience, and yet another example of Gormley making the spectators a part of the art. Not one for the claustrophobic, perhaps.

I won’t list everything else, I promise. Go for yourself and experience the world through different eyes. What I will do, is talk about another Gormley gem in the mostly forgotten area of London that we call Greenwich. The Quantum Cloud stands at 30m tall, making it even larger than the Angel of the North at Gateshead. In fact, until the construction of the B of the Bang sculpture in Manchester, 2005 – it was the largest sculpture in England. The Quantum Cloud sits on the Thames, by the pier at the newly opened O2 Arena, formally known as the Millennium Dome. It’s formed of hundreds of 1.5m lengths of random steel rods, at the centre of which you can make out the 20ft tall man standing amongst the cloud. But don’t look too closely, or you won’t see it. Magic eye, eat your heart out.